#1 Dinosaur offers these truisms for docs.
- First Law: The Art of Medicine consists of amusing the patient while nature takes its course.
- Second Law: It is impossible to make an asymptomatic patient feel better.
- Third Law: The urgency of the test is inversely proportional to the IQ of the insurance company preauthorization clerk.
- Fourth Law: No good deed goes unpunished.
- Fifth Law: A patient's acceptance of a screening test is inversely proportional to its necessity for that particular patient.
- Sixth Law: Trauma survival is inversely related to the patient's value to society.
- Seventh Law: Fertility is inversely proportional to intelligence.
- Eighth Law: The better the surgeon, the more reluctant s/he is to operate.