Writing For Your Medical Spa Site or Facebook Page

There's a pretty common concept in advertising copywriting (and phychology), I forget what the technical name is, but the main point is that as you're writing copy, you're constantly opening and closing loops in your readers' minds to encourage them to read further.

Let me give you an example of what openeing a loop might look like:

"Frontdesk SEO also gives you access to several automated marketing tools that really drive traffic - but I'll share those with you in a few minutes. Right now, I want to tell you about the personalized attention you'll get from the Frontdesk support staff."

See how that works?

I said I'm going to tell you about something in a minute, so it's kinda like a little "tease". It opens a loop, a question, in the readers mind that they want answered. They'll continue reading to aleviate that psychological need and close the loop.

It's the kind of thing that you should keep in mind when you're writing for your medical spa on your facebook page or social media sites (if you're not oursourcing that to Frontdesk or Freelance MD already.)

Medical Slang: How doctors insult their patients and each other.

The terms by which physicians insult patients and each other.

homersbrain.gifMore insulting terms for patients, diagnosis, and general physician slang.

Terms for physicians:


  • Acades vulgaris - medical students.
  • Adminisphere - where hospital managers work, reckoned to be "another planet"
  • Ax(e) - surgeon
  • Blade - Surgeon: dashing, bold, arrogant and often wrong, but never in doubt
  • Blood Suckers - those who take blood samples, e.g. lab techs
  • Bones and Groans - non-specialist general hospital
  • BoneHo - an off-service resident working in Orthopedics
  • C&T Ward - Coma ward - "cabbages and turnips"
  • C_nts and Runts - Maternity and Paediatrics
  • Captain Kangaroo - head of a paediatrics department
  • Freud Squad - psychiatry department
  • Gasser, gas passer, gas man, Gaswallah - anaesthetist
  • Slasher - surgeon
  • Short-order chef - morgue worker
  • Knuckledragger - orthopedist
  • Overpriced Carpenter - orthopedist
  • Orthopod - orthopedist
  • Flea - internal medicine doctor
  • Humpty-dumpty doctor - a physiatrist or rehabilitation physician; referring to verse from the popular nursery rhyme that "all the king's horses and all the king's men could not put humpty together again."
  • Stream team - the urology service collectively
  • Pecker checker / Cock Doc- urologist
  • Pediatron - paediatrician
  • Baby catcher - obstetrician
  • Rear Admiral - proctologist
  • Unclear medicine - nuclear medicine
  • BoneHo - off-service resident working on Orthopedic service
  • Osteopath - D.O., Doctor of Osteopathy--a physician licenced to practice medicine and surgery who is trained in osteopathic medicine
  • Hearts and Farts - unit specialising in geriatrics and cardiology
  • Inbreds - doctors whose parents are also doctors
  • Larry - Locum, as in "doing a Larry"
  • Raisin Farm - old person's home, geriatric ward etc (also Raisin Farmer - person who runs old persons' home)
  • Removal men - dept of care of elderly people
  • Rheumaholiday - rheumatology (considered by hard-pressed juniors to be a less busy dept)
  • Shadow gazer - radiologist
  • Sieve - a doctor who admits almost every patient he sees
  • Cath Jockey - A cardiologist that catheterizes every patient they see. Or one that does cardiac catherizations.

Hey, I didn't make these up. Many are not even included due to good taste.If you have been insulted by a medical proffesional speak to Alexander Harris and find out more about clinical negligence.

Oral Sex & Throat Cancer: New England Journal of Medicine

Completely off topic but interesting.

Oral sex raises your risk of throat cancer scientists have warned.

150_0000023000_0000088975.jpgA new study found the oral sex act can pass on the human papillomavirus (HPV), which can trigger a specific type of throat cancer in both men and women.

And they claim oral sex is an even bigger killer than smoking or drinking.

The researchers found those who had more than six oral sex partners in their lifetime and an HPV infection were 8.6 times more likely to develop the cancer than those who had never engaged in oral sex. Whereas smoking raised the risk of throat cancer three times, and drinking by 2.5.

blockquote.gif  There are around 7,600 cases of oesophageal cancer diagnosed in the UK each year and 7,400 deaths related to the disease.

Men can cut the risk to their partners by wearing a condom during oral sex.

Researcher Dr Gypsyamber D'Souza, from the Johns Hopkins hospital in Baltimore, US, said: "It is important to know that people without the traditional risk factors of tobacco and alcohol use can nevertheless be at risk of oropharyngeal cancer.

There are around 7,600 cases of oesophageal cancer diagnosed in the UK each year and 7,400 deaths related to the disease.

But co-author Dr Maura Gillison said: "People should be reassured that oropharyngeal cancer is relatively uncommon, and the overwhelming majority of people with an oral HPV infection probably will not get throat cancer."

The findings are published today in the New England Journal of Medicine.

Cool thoughts on body hair.

I love cool science facts.


Research shows that we humans lost all our body hair through evolution about a million years before somebody finally figured out how to purchase clothes at one of the first primitive Walmarts.

One theory says that we lost our all body hair in an attempt to avoid parasites like ticks, fleas, and lice, and that we've only kept the hair on our heads because other people think it's pretty. As proof, consider that you haven't seen many bald pregnant women.

New tan implant from down under.

Via Medgadget: Clinuvel Pharmaceuticals is testing a rice-grain sized implant that when placed under the skin induces a tan and provides increased UV protection.

Tan.jpgThe dermatology-focused biotech, formerly known as Epitan, had initially marketed its leading drug as a tanning product, saying it produces eumelanin, a pigment which can protect skin from UV exposure.

But under its new name Clinuvel, the company said the same drug, CUV1647, is also a serious clinical treatment for a range of skin conditions.

Clinuvel said those conditions include polymorphous light eruption (PLE) or sun poisoning and actinic keratosis (AK), a skin cancer precursor.

More From Australia's The Age...

Link to Clinuvel...

The new medspa & Trolly Square shootings.

13slay2_lg-thumb.jpgLast night I was looking at a space for a new medical spa in downtown Salt Lake with a friend of mine Shane and his 4 year old son. We dicided to have an early diner and Shane suggested The Spaghetti Factory at Trolly Square since they provide ice cream with every meal. A 4 year old's favorite.

Half an hour after we left the restaurant an 18 year old with a shotgun, handgun, and a chip on his shoulder walked in the sam door and open fire on the diners and others in the mall. Five dead and four others in critical condition.

You never know when your life will change. 

During my 10 years in Manhattan I saw guns pulled five time in anger. Gun violence is becoming a part of everyday life in America.

Cosmetic Medical Abbreviations For Physicians

Some of the humorous acronyms and abbreviations found in medical spa charts.

If you have an addition, add it as a comment to this post and I'll bump it up. No complaints that physicians shouldn't ridicule their patients.


ADR - Ain't Doin' Right.

IWF - Imaginary Wrinkle Finder 

ATSWWT - Always Thinks Something's Wrong With Them.

CTD - Circling The Drain.

DAAD - Dead As A Doornail.

55W - Fifty Five & Wrinkly

BPC - Botox Poster Child.

WICDM - Wish I Could Do More. 

NMTBD - Nothing More To Be Done. 

FLK - Funny Looking Kid.

FOS - Full Of Stool.

FTD - Fixing To Die.

DSFD - Doc-Shopping For Deals.

FTW - Friggin Train Wreck. (Patient with multiple problems)

GFPO - Good For Parts Only.

GGTG - Gomers Go To Ground (they fall out of bed or gurneys).

GLM - Good Looking Mom.

TYTLFSS - Twenty Years To Late For Sun Screen. 

GOMER - Get Out of My Exaimining Room.

LOLINAD - Little Old Lady In No Acute Distress.

MFC - Measure For Coffin.

NFFM - Normal For Full Moon.

O2T - Oxygen Thief.

ODD&DDR - Out 'De Door and Down 'De Road.

PBBB - Pine Box By Bedside.

FFOBR - Forty Feet Of Bad Road. 

PITA - Pain In The A**.

SALT - Same As Last Time.

SWAG - Scientific, wild-A** Guess.

RTNIFL - Refer To Newbie Internist For Laughs.

TOBAS - Take Out Back And Shoot.

TTGA - Told To Go Away.

WDWNF - Well Developed Well Nourished Female.

Humorous Medical Abbreviations

Angry penis removal; zip, zap.

 Sometimes you just can't make this stuff up.

The unpleasant business of the angry, penis removing surgeon.

surgeonsPA080506_175x125.jpg...Surgeon Naum Ciomu, who had been suffering from stress at the time, had been operating on patient Nelu Radonescu, 36, to correct a testicular malformation when he suddenly lost his temper.

Grabbing a scalpel, he sliced off the penis in front of shocked nursing staff, and then placed it on the operating table where he chopped it into small pieces before storming out of the operating theatre at Bucharest hospital.

They said he had been under stress and had lost his temper after he accidentally cut the man's urinary channel and 'overreacted' to the situation.

...Vice-president of the Romanian Doctors Union, Vasile Astarastoae, said: 'Ciomu's case is a dangerous precedent for all Romanian doctors. In future doctors may have to think very carefully about what work they undertake.'

...The director of the ophthalmology hospital in Bucharest, Dr Monica Pop (yes, actually her name), agreed saying that doctors would in future avoid any cases where they could end up in court having to pay damages.

She added: 'Doctors in Romanian earn too little to be able to pay amounts like this. As a result it will be entirely fair if they only accept cases where they cannot make mistakes. The only way this can be avoided is if the insurance companies cover all the risk.'

I guess the guy should count his lucky stars it wasn't brain surgery.